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Want to control your anger?

Anger is the most common thing that most of us keep fighting with. Anger may be a result of argument, bad mood, helplessness, intolerance, among many others. The reasons that lead us to anger clearly define our anger. Its the situations that make us helpless and its the helplessness within that drives anger. So, the anger is not because someone/ some situation has done something to us, its all about ‘us repeatedly recalling our incapability in not acting against something that resulted in anger’, be it good or bad. Its not actually the situation, its the response to the situation coming from within, that is making you angry, blaming you for your helpless state. This inner element that is instigating anger is  ‘Ego’. So, based on the above argument, we can come to a consensus that ‘we get anger when our ego is hurt’. So, to satisfy our ego we are bursting out at something/someone. Then, who is facing the consequence? Our Ego? No, its we who will be facing the consequence. So, to be simple, we are being used by our ego. 

Think! You have no role to play, but you are facing the consequence for satisfying something else. 

Ignore your ego to overcome anger. Following ways can help you out :

  • Calm down for a while

  • Have some water

  • Leave the place for a while

  • Start counting numbers within

  • Divert your mind onto something else

  • Then, empty your mind completely

  • Inhale and Exhale for three times, concentrating on the breathe

  • Now, you feel some freshness around you!

  • Congrats! You  controlled your anger

Being ‘special’ vs adjusting with ‘ordinary’

Here we see two cases of thinking: One thinks that everyone ‘has right to be special’, the other feels its ‘ok to be ordinary’. While the first case strongly recommends being special, the other suggests adjusting with ordinary is also fine.

Thinking, according to me, depends on the situation we are into, people around us, society we are living in and pre-recorded thoughts those have or have been having control over one’s mind.

Irrespective of all other factors, the main thing that impacts mind is the situation.

In basic sense, based on situation, one usually decides whether to be an introvert or an extrovert. If the situation is more easing and people around us are comfortable enough to listen to we say, then we might think of speaking freely, if not no. If we find enough space to speak freely and express feelings openly, we tend to express what exactly is in our mind. And, if it’s more comfortable, then we will unintentionally express our individual attitude. Then comes out the real attitude, which would resultantly allow the opposite person to decide what we are.

Being Special:

If a person finds us similar to what he/she has seen before many times, then reaction would be ‘usual’.  If something in us is found new/interesting from what the person has seen before/ hasn’t see in the past ever, then obviously we would seem ‘different’ and if more connected, we might also seem ‘special’.

So, yes, everyone has the right to be special. But it’s the situation, people around us and one’s individual attitude, that will decide whether a person is usual or special, as human tends to behave according to those factors. Needless to say, individual attitude can make a person special to everyone irrespective of basic mind set, situation he/she is in.

Whatever, special people are always special, if they are true to their attitude. No right implies to them. If they are to themselves, they are special wherever they live in or whatever situation they are into.

It’s ok being ordinary:

Second part of the case is thinking ‘it’s ok to be ordinary’. This kind of mentality can be seen in two different perspectives. One way it can be termed as ‘adjusting mentality’ and the other case can be being ‘simple and humble’.

Adjusting again leads us to situation, which was discussed in the first case of ‘being special’. If a person is an introvert and not willing to face risk, then he/she will try to adjust to the situation. Then they feel ‘no point in taking unnecessary risk/headache just to be called ‘special’. Instead they will feel comfortable enough in being called ‘ordinary’/ feel themselves ‘its ok to be ordinary’.

Another angle is of being ‘simple and humble’. This kind of mentality can be defined basically by nature/ individual attitude-again the term we came across in the first case. Irrespective of what others feel about them, what situation they are in, they will be true to their nature and follow their basic nature of being ‘simple and humble’ and finds no difficulty in telling self -‘its ok to be ordinary’ or being called ordinary by others.

Summary:

Of all in both the cases, being special or ordinary depends on an individual. If an individual attitude cares of being special/being called special, he/she will make according moves to be special and to be called special by others. Whereas, who cares less of individuality and intends to move on irrespective of being special, takes no risk for just the word-‘special’.  Will find their happiness in being called ‘ordinary’ or thinks self as ‘its ok to be ordinary’.